Dirty Harry Potter
Dirty Harry Potter

Blur in:

Ext Cave Entrance-Night

SPFX: Thunder, lightning and high breezes encompass this cavern entrance.

Commentator (Gruff Voice)

In a world loaded up with dim destruction and odious monsters with two heads...

Two arrangements of eyes show up in the dimness. Unexpectedly, a third set appears.

Host Okay. Three heads...

Slice To:

Int. Palace Basement-Night a similar tempest should be visible through the window led streetlight s as an Evil Sorcerer remains at a cauldron, blending a percolating, smoking mixture.

Commentator

Where malicious magicians blend lethal mixtures...

The magician powers an eyedropper loaded with his mixture to a lice-ridden rodent.

Broadcaster

to drastically change the human populace into...

There's a puff of smoke that clears to uncover a gorgeous courteous fellow in a vainglorious tuxedo. Out of nowhere, a spotlight stirs things up around town. He gets a receiver.

Broadcaster

Las Vegas relax vocalists.

SPFX: Lightning and thunder crashes boisterously.

Respectable man

(singing) Danke Shoen. Dear, Danke Shoen.

Host

Is there anybody who can stop the franticness? Indeed, there is.

Be that as it may, just a single individual can make it happen. Furthermore, that individual is...

SPFX: Thunder and lightning crash once more.

Slice to:

Close Up: Squinty-looked at man wearing round eyeglasses.

The camera pulls back to uncover Dirty Harry Potter wearing a crumpled suit.

Host

Messy Harry Potter.

Slice to:

Ext Street-Day Harry has cornered a parlor vocalist and makes them stand against the wall. Harry is pointing a broomstick at him.

Harry

All in all, would you say you are feeling fortunate, punk?

A spotlight encompasses the man. He chooses up a receiver from no place and starts singing.

Relax Singer

(singing) Luck be a woman this evening. Karma be a woman this evening.

Slice to:

INT. Hogwart's Professor's Office-Day

A Hogwart teacher remains behind his work area. Harry remains inverse him.

Teacher

Potter, I'm taking you off this case. You can't simply go around and dispense with anybody you damn well please.

Harry

Teacher, it was an instance of mixed up personality.

Teacher

Mixed up character? How might you confuse this with a parlor vocalist?

The teacher holds up an image of Wayne Newton.

Teacher

On account of you, the world will always be unable to hear "Daddy, Don't You Walk So Fast" once more.

Harry looks down in disgrace.

Broadcaster

There's risk as Harry encounters the insidious magician.

Slice to:

INT. Cave-Night

Harry has his broomstick pointed at the detestable magician.

Harry

This is a Smith and Wesson Hogwart Special. It holds 4,000 sparkles of lethal annihilation.

In this way, you must ask yourself. Was that 3,000 or 4,000 dangerous flashes he delivered when he came in here? Commentator

There's fervor as Harry penetrates the Las Vegas relax scene.

Slice to:

INT. Gambling club Lounge-Night

Harry is in front of an audience, wearing a pink tuxedo. He's singing, yet in his Dirty Harry voice.

Harry (singing) You're having my child. What an exquisite approach to talking about the amount you love me.

Commentator

There's sentiment as Harry and his kindred Hogwart graduate, Cynthia, at long last become hopelessly enamored.

Slice to:

EXT Park-Day

Harry and Cynthia, a pixyish blonde, are in a hug.

Cynthia

Well. Harry, is that your broomstick, or would you say you are only glad to see me?

Host

Furthermore, obviously, there's activity.

Slice to:

EXT Street-Night

Harry lays on his back as he attempts to shoot a surge of parlor vocalists who stroll towards him, in a "Evening of the Living Dead" daze.

Harry

Damn, I'm out of destructive flashes.

Slice to:

EXT Cave-Night

Back to lightning, thunder and high breezes.

Host

See Dirty Harry Potter And The Lounge Lizards, featuring Johnny Depp as Dirty Harry Potter, in his most strange job since playing both Pigeon Sisters in The Odd Couple. Grimy Harry Potter, coming next Succoth. Give your best for keep away from it when it shames a venue close to you. Void where precluded by regulation; batteries excluded; refrigerate in the wake of opening; in the event that expanding shows up, stop use.

Slice to:

INT. Lodging Day

Harry reloads his broomstick. There's a thump on the entryway.

Servant (O.S.)

Housekeeping.

Harry

Come in.

An older house keeper enters conveying a bunch of sheets.

Slice to:

Close up: Harry's Face

Harry

Go for it. Make my bed.

Slice to dark.

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